Yesterday J’s comm book stated he had a great day but was “non-compliant” and “self-injurious” at one point. Uh-oh! I asked him about it and he looked at the tar-paved road.
I walked home with Mr. Surly, made snack for Mr. Moody, got Mr. Annoyed to help me with the contents of the dishwasher and then found Mr. Bawling-My-Eyes-Out sitting in J’s room. I decided to play it cool, and not let it get to me. Until the moment when I found J, red-rimmed eyes, tear-stained face, snotty nose… I don’t baby-talk my kids except to annoy them so I didn’t baby-talk J…I simply told him that if he was upset he could hug me or cry as long as he felt like it. And he hugged me. I was embraced by a Kodiak bear that sounded like Babe the Pig.
By dinnertime, his nose properly wiped, his composure regained, J came downstairs and sat with us. He wasn’t the life of the party, but the worst of the storm seemed to have passed. By the time he took his bath, I could hear him laughing and giggling in the tub. I could hear him saying, in anticipation of the request from Dada, “don’t move!” as he was getting his shave.
I’m sure that, like any other teenager, there’s something pissing him off right now. I won’t try to make up for it. I won’t coddle him excessively. I just want him to feel well… Maybe, I reasoned to my husband, it’s seasonal allergies? Maybe he’s tired? Maybe he feels that winter is almost over? Maybe…maybe…maybe?
That’s all I’ve got right now. I don’t know how his day has been. I am hoping for the best. I have his snack box ready; I bought him a new puzzle. I bought Benadryl in case he has allergies.
It’s all a gamble, isn’t it? When the kid doesn’t speak and he doesn’t know how to express what he’s feeling, you end up grabbing for straws…
My “problem” child. My “difficult” child. I feel like the mouse in the old tale: I want to take the thorn out of the lion’s paw…I just can’t seem to find the darned thorn. But I’m staying calm and I’m staying relaxed because that’s what works best. Right?
Maybe today has been better…