I admit most of the day I was wondering where the ringing in my ears was coming from…I kept looking around. I even cleaned my ears. Nothing. It was still there. The absolute silence left in the wake of J’s departure for school has been annoying me all day.
The day DRAGGED. I took a shower, read, made some cream puffs from scratch…and it was only nine by the time I was done making the choux pastry (this includes the baking) and had put the custard in the refrigerator. ONLY NINE A.M.!!!!
By eleven I had stretched, run, read the news online and read some more of my book.
By noon I was watching a movie while eating a sandwich.
At 2:35 P.M. I bounced out the door to check the mail and wait for J. I greeted the bus with such enthusiasm that one of the drivers asked me if I was hailing a cab. Yes, I missed J that much…the silence in the house with the non-verbal child gone was overwhelming.
I didn’t get to be irritated by the same Toby Keith or Maroon 5 song played twenty times in a row. I didn’t hear The Brave Little Toaster’s blanket crying and wailing fifty times in a row with J’s deep, rolling giggle woven into it. The hammering from the construction site and the trains’ whistles were evident today while over the past ten days I’d barely been able to notice them over COOKIES/NO, NOODLES/NO, CRACKERS/NO.
J wouldn’t remove his hats on the walk home, but as soon as we closed the door behind us, off they came…now a natural part of the everyday routine. I tried to follow him upstairs to ask him about his day, but he turned me down with a smile and a little shake of his hand. “Go away, lady. I know you missed me, but I need to unwind after the most fun day I’ve had since Spring Break started. No offense.” I could hear him laughing in his room as he took his school clothes off…when I went to tell him his snack was ready, he was dancing a little jig…in the nude. I knocked, and he opened the door only wide enough that I could see his school clothes in the hamper and the at-home clothes on his bed… It IS his room…and he DID hide his nudity behind the door. Yes, yes, he said when I told him his food was ready. He closed the door behind me with a THANK YOU and a giggle…
He came downstairs dressed and smiling. J is relaxed and happy; all is well in his world. I’m the one with the ringing ears…I’m the one who, in spite of the sometimes overwhelming demands he puts on my time and attention span, missed him fiercely all day.
No worries. I’ll get over that part. I already marked the calendar with the days left until the end of school (51,) the days left until TGG’s 21st birthday (22,) and I noticed peppered here and there a large amount of no-school and early-release days. I will go back to being frazzled by J’s presence in no time.
All is well in my world, too.