Ah, the end of the school year approaches. I can see it ahead of me. The school district, with yet another two-day stretch of letting me keep my child at home, is reminding me that its work is almost done for the 2011-2012 chunk of our academic life. This reminds me of those times when I whip out the good ol’ Singer and decide to sew something…I know I’m botching it, and I can see the spool of thread about to run out, but I hold out hope that -somehow- I’ll make it to the end of the project without running out of thread and without making a garment that will look like, well, a garment I made.
Today’s words are POPCORN/NO, and I think we’ve surpassed the 100th mark. The battle of wills, early in the day though it may be, is stacked in J’s favor…I am close to running for the hills (plentiful around these parts) or giving in (not something I want to do.) My choices are limited: either I come across as the heavy and risk pissing him off by being intractable or I let HIM be intractable and win this one. I’d rather be intractable and piss him off…he’s young, he’ll get over it.
I have the most noble intentions for taking him out for a walk. I intend to be intractable about that, too. The weather is supposed to be generous today and I want to take advantage of this fact so that we can establish a routine that will carry through to summer. If I thought that J will be able to use the treadmill at the gym I’d walk over there with him, but I get the feeling J would PLAY with the treadmill…and that poses a risk of a twisted ankle or a fall. Neither one is appealing.
The playground has been assembled and is being used assiduously by everyone in the neighborhood. It is a nice redwood frame with swings, a curly-pipe slide and a play house. J won’t use it. I am worried that his size and weight will pose a problem with either getting stuck in the slide or damaging a swing. I see adults (who are similar to J in size and weight) using the equipment, but I’m afraid it would be our dumb luck that something breaks while WE are there, and you KNOW that people would immediately point their fingers at the overgrown child with the hats. I am possibly being defensive about this, I know, but I can’t help it…people can be mean about things like this one.
We got in touch with the non-profit that has activities for developmentally-disabled individuals. It’s not a good fit. For one, they want one of us to be there for everything because J is non-verbal. I tried to explain that he is a good listener and understands everything, but they won’t budge even though he knows ASL. It’s not that we wouldn’t want to go with J, but that we know J would probably prefer peer-interaction without the grown-ups from his household cramping his style. The summer day camp they offer, of course, would coincide with the summer program at school so that’s out.
My next step is to look into a Big Brother scenario where someone can come and hang out with J for a couple of hours one afternoon a week, just to give me a bit of room to do whatever I need to do. Oh, Lord, I feel tremendously selfish just typing that… J is not an impediment, but I know he gets bored when he’s with me and I feel like crap because he’s grown up and I’m not entertaining to him anymore. And the thought of finding someone to hang out with him for a while is horrible to me because, in the absence of Autism, this would not be an issue…
OK…deep breaths. Deep, deep breaths… I can totally do this without fainting, I’m sure. I’ve been doing it for a long time and I’m better than hyperventilation and panic, right?
Phew! That was close!!!!
I’m better now. I can totally do this. I just have to block out POPCORN/NO until the evening…and we’ll go for a nice, brisk walk…and we have FOUR loads of laundry to fold…and there’s re-organizing the shelves and containers in the garage…
Yep…and we have a LEGO!!!!!
Is it Wednesday yet?