He’s like Garbo…

After four days of togetherness, I cannot blame J for wanting to be let alone.  He has politely, kindly, affectionately declined my company; I am chagrined, but I understand.

Last night and this morning J was volatile, but in a subdued way.  He wasn’t flying off the handle with any emotion, but he was definitely ready to react to anything.  He was happy it was bath-time, but an uninformed observer would have assumed he was angry.  He was excited to go to school this morning, but anyone watching from across the way through a window would have guessed those were tears of misery.  He chose his clothes with care; he dressed slowly, savoring the process, knowing that he’d be seeing his friends in a while…

There was no note in the comm book, but I’m assuming the day went well.  The driver and aide didn’t look like they’d had a bad ride with him and I didn’t have any messages on the cell phone or the house phone.  Unless he got hold of a roll of duct tape and kept everyone from reaching the phone, the day went well enough…

Once we got home, he had his snack and went to his room to change.  I found him sitting on his bed -half an hour later- in a blissful state of nudity.  I didn’t ask; he didn’t offer details…I skedaddled.  I did knock and he did cover himself with a pillow before saying HELLO.  It IS his room.  I’m not telling the psychiatrist…goodness knows what HE will think of that.

So the rest of the afternoon and the early evening have progressed quietly.  I can tell J is happy because we have all, at one point or another, heard him giggling and laughing; he has also emerged from his room -fully dressed- and asked us for help with one thing or another.  He’s been smiling at us and his voice is soft and full of affection, but he doesn’t want to hang out…

I can’t say I blame him.  I know he is tired of me because we seem to be thrown together more and more frequently these days.  He’s a teenager.  I’m a middle-aged mother.  I suddenly find myself communicating better with TGG -who seems to be emerging from adolescence with a great deal more grace than I expected- and having awkwardness with J.  I think this is all part of the “normal” scheme of things…

So there you have it.  J wants to be naked in his room…I wish I had the same luxury.  He wants to be let alone…I wish I had the same luxury.  But we’ve been through this rigmarole before: WE were once teenagers and felt the same way; TGG was like this…a couple of months ago???

Garbo wanted to be let alone in Grand Hotel…that was in 1932.  But, by 1939, in Ninotchka Iranoff, played by Sig Ruman, asks Ninotchka “Do you want to be alone, comrade?,” and she replies “No.”   It took seven years…but I’m a patient person, and I know we’ll get over the nudity thing soon enough…I hope.  J was a well-known nudist until the age of nine and he grew out of it, right?  Maybe it’s cyclical?  Or maybe, like Garbo, he will take to keeping the private ultra-private…

One can only hope…

 

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