The word “disaster” is hyperbolic, but I am in a hyperbolic mood…

I wish the school district calendar would synchronize its no-school days with my no-hot flash nights.  The way things stand at this particular moment, J and I are in for a rough Monday.  I hardly got any sleep last night.  I, obviously, arose from this fractured rest in a less-than-stellar frame of mind.  The usual reminder robo-call didn’t come last night, and Friday was so busy that the teacher didn’t have a chance to jot down a reminder in J’s book.  We were operating under the assumption that this was just any other Monday…

Sheldon Copper would say “oh, gravity.  Thou art a heartless bitch.”  The high of standing in the corner, hoping to send J off to his happy daily occupation (which, by the way, he was REALLY looking forward to) led to confusion, frantic text-messaging of teacher, double-checking of school district calendar and immediate restructuring of plan-for-the-day.  That is: Dada rushed back home to change into work clothes so he could rush J to school (he assumed they’d missed the bus,) and then -faced with the knowledge of our mistake- we had to deal with J’s dashed hopes and the fact that I would not be able to squeeze a quick recuperative nap this morning.  The woman who had solemnly declared “I do not want coffee” at 6:20 as J and Dada headed out the door, bolted out of bed screaming “WHERE’S MY COFFEE????” at 6:35 when they returned and it was determined no sleep would be available to me until, hopefully, tonight…

Since this morning and until tonight, the day is going as I expected: hectic, frantic and marked with bouts of irritability that I can almost predict.  I say “almost” because J’s playing his cards close to the vest.  I, on the other hand, am not playing with a full deck.  That I am at a clear and rather significant disadvantage should be clear by now.  If we were playing with dice, I would have lost those, too.  All my attempts at catching up with J’s mental acrobatics (all of them designed to confound me, of course) have failed miserably.  His machinations are Nadia Comaneci at the ’76 Summer Olympics…my brain is Wile E. Coyote at his lamest.  I wouldn’t be surprised if, by the end of the day, I am asleep on the couch and J’s happily running the household for me.

How do you figure they can still take TODAY off when there have been so many 2-hour delays and so many snow days this school year???  Just over the state line, a school district cancelled Spring Break to make time up so they wouldn’t go over an acceptable date to finish this semester.  I just don’t get it…  I remember reading a bumper sticker a few years ago: When God created Man SHE was only kidding.  In light of the fact that menopause symptoms are slapping me around and the school district calendar has done me wrong, I think we can safely assume that God is all male.  A female deity would be a little kinder to those of us who spent a whole night plagued with palpitations, hot flashes and night sweats.  Or, at least, I’d like to think that a female deity would take these things into consideration.

OK.  I wish I’d known.  I wish I’d remembered.  I’m sure I knew about today not being a school day somewhere back when the school year started.  How I skipped writing it on the calendar (the Master Calendar that contains every single shred of information regarding our comings, goings, stallings, etc.) is beyond me.  My much-celebrated meticulousness has bitten me…I will not say where.

There is nothing left to do but make the best of this situation.  We’ve done, in honor of Earth Day, a good bit of gardening; we’ve done laundry; we’ve put away the clean dishes; we have made beds.  J is as fresh as a daisy…I look like I just got run over by a stampede of very angry wildebeests.  And it’s barely noon…

Four hours until any form of “reinforcements” shows up…

Forgive me for being a whiner (which I’ve admitted I can be…to a glorious degree): AAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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