Without much ado, or any ruckus, or even the slightest ruffle of discontent, the Ramen noodle disappeared from the pantry and haven’t been requested since. You’d think, if you didn’t know J a little better, that he was eating them out of habit, or simply because they were there…
He WAS eating them out of habit, and because they were there!!!!!!! I know this because he’s had TWO chances to go grocery shopping, and twice he has turned us down and opted to stay at home chilling out with TGG. It’s not even that J wasn’t informed that we were going to the store; he knew, and he decided to stay home. It’s not that he couldn’t have told us if he wanted the Ramen noodle. J would have made his wants and needs known, especially in this department, if it had meant interpretive dancing of Isadora Duncan levels, or even telepathically. If J wants something from the store, J will make sure you KNOW he wants that from the store. As of now, Sunday afternoon, the basket where the Ramen noodles used to sit, is empty, and there is no urgency on J’s (or anyone else’s) part to fill it.
Yesterday morning, Dada made him toast, eggs and ham. This morning he had pancakes. On Friday morning he left for school having consumed an egg white sandwich with turkey sausage. So far, he hasn’t lost a limb, use of any other body part, or his ability to function in every other way. So, no, the Ramen noodles that he used to treat like a dietary “need” were merely a crutch, and he doesn’t want them anymore.
I almost cried at the store yesterday. I don’t deny this because there are moments when it seems like I’m taking this very calmly, but the whole change J has experienced is HUGE! J, formerly known as Ramen Noodle Boy, is happily eating whatever he is offered, even at breakfast time which used to be the time when the Ramen noodles were a MUST. Like the boxing gloves that he decided he no longer needed, and left sitting on his bed for decorative purposes, the Ramen noodles are…pfffffft!
I didn’t just almost cry because of THAT. I almost cried because I realize that I am greatly to blame for J’s bad eating habits, and I regret not having felt empowered to change them sooner. I was too scared to make him angry, to feed his anxiety, to face his irascibility. I, hand in hand with the Risperdal, made my son unhealthily heavy, and this is something that I have to come to terms with so that I can proactively continue to pursue fixing it. I feel horribly guilty about this, but I’ve opted to set the guilt aside and go with the part where I’m determined to correct my past mistakes without denying I made them.
And that’s where we’re at on this sunny, not-as-cold-as-we-have-been Sunday afternoon: we are Ramen-noodleless, and we are moving on to the next thing we want to achieve: legumes. Making pasta sauce with pumpkin in it has proven to be delicious and popular, and we’re ready to move on…and move on we will…
Lentils, watch out because here we come!