Dear Apple…a big…fat…you know what to you…

Oh, Tim Cook…why, oh why…oh, WHY????

Not every update is an improvement, and -quite honestly- these now frequent Software Updates are making me wonder why I switched EVERYTHING to Apple products.  It’s so Microsoft these days!

Our beloved CLOCK…the TIMER that J was so familiar with is now an ominous looking black screen that he cannot make heads or tails of BECAUSE HE CANNOT READ NUMBERS!!!!!!!

Shit.  Fuck.  Dammit.  (Repeat until blue in the face as you try to figure out how to turn it back to the beloved diminishing circle that would comfort him when he was watching the time tick by.  Repeat when you realize that this is irreversible.)

Mother of the Kraken, Apple.  REALLY????  Not only are we spending plenty of money on your products, now we have to endure a change in routine that was completely avoidable and that is disrupting a person’s soothing routine????

His MUSIC has changed.  His iTunes has changed.  Now his CLOCK has changed.  This, stupid people at Apple, is not at all soothing for a person with ASD who finds the ease with which he used to navigate any of the TWO iPads in the house very calming.  Now he sits there and wonders why the numbers look like they are speeding by, and there’s NO DIMINISHING CIRCLE!!!!!!!!!

“Oh, well, you can purchase an app that will…”  Let me stop you right there, stupid people at Apple.  How much more money do you want us to spend?  Do you realize that this individual has a very limited income and that his Social Security Supplemental Income goes down when they consider we are covering his expenses?  Never you mind the logic of THAT…”well, he doesn’t pay his share of the rent…which should be one-third.”  “Yes, but he doesn’t receive enough to pay one-third.  Does that mean we should move to a cheaper abode?”  “You gotta do what you gotta do, but since you’re paying for his shelter and food to the tune of -insert amount here- we have to dock that from his benefits.”  “So we have to buy less food and move to a cheaper place?”

And now his diminishing circle of soothing time measurement is gone.  Gone, baby…GONE!  Just a black screen.  (OMINOUS.  Horrible.  Oh, shit…those numbers move SO FAST and I don’t understand them…self-injurious behavior, self-injurious behavior…)

Yes, Tim Cook…eternal gratitude for this “update.”  Yes, it’s AWESOME for anyone who WANTED IT!  We didn’t have any complaints!  We don’t think the damn thing works better?  What in the world makes Apple think EVERYONE wants to operate thermostat, locks, whatever through their iPad?????  Did you never watch the 70s classic made-for-TV movie This House Possessed with Parker Stevenson and Lisa Eilbacher???????  It was the Fatal Attraction of artificial intelligence operated houses, and I admit I will NEVER want a house that locks itself, thank you.  And, as if THAT movie wasn’t enough, the classic 1984 sci-fi rom-com drama Electric Dreams with Lenny Von Dohlen and Virginia Madsen is yet another cautionary tale.  So…NO…the HOME feature on this Software Update is NOT welcome either.

Thank you, Apple, for this disruption of our son’s routine.  In a year when our household has altered in size, people have come and gone from his social circle, school is out forever, there are no programs for him to participate in, and his mother has had several health issues that have caused him anxiety, your Software Update has been a crowning gem in the pile of his seemingly petty ASD-related issues…

Seriously…A BLACK SCREEN!  That’s right there with the rather large, always flaming fireplace they’ve installed in the lobby of the hospital…very comforting…very, very comforting…

Not all change is good for EVERYONE.

Rant over.


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