My stubborn son is feeling much better. He is happy. He is taking his antibiotic and enjoying life… I can’t ask for more, really.
Well, I can. I can ask all I want, but I’m fine with not getting what I ask for…unless it’s continued health and good balance in our home. That’s all one wants.
Yesterday was Lego Wednesday, and we completed yet another building for our village. Dada is talking discretionary deforestation and train track rerouting. Given the fact that we both have a bird’s eye view of how crammed things are in that smallish space the village occupies, I tend to agree. That will be this weekend’s rainy day project.
J has been more spontaneously verbal of late. Not only does he chime in with a THANK YOU without anyone giving him a pointed look after he gets something he wants (be it help, food, a movie, or anything else,) we now get regular I LOVE YOUs when we least expect them. The first time we were thrown off trying to figure out what he was saying; his enunciation is not the best, of course, and he wasn’t signing when he did it. We hear PEW-OVE-EW…and scratch our head for five minutes while trying to figure out what he’s asking for before J comes up, hugs us and says PEW-OVE-EW and a lightbulb goes off…I LOVE YOU. HORRY, obviously, is SORRY. TEK-EEYORE-BAFF is TAKE YOUR BATH. What he doesn’t achieve with enunciation he makes up for with volume and intensity. It’s a little like being in the path of Sam Kinison’s delivery of any line ever…but it’s spontaneous, and it is awesome.
I have good things to tell the doctor tomorrow, but I also have concerns. The whole thing with not wanting TGG around worries me. Will J ever want his brother back? Is it something J needs to fix, or is it something TGG needs to work on? We make sure that we mention TGG in a positive way, and we do our best to show J how present he is in our everyday lives, but… J’s just not into it right now, and it feels wrong to force his hand. We might have to? Maybe?
I have list of questions. I will try to address al of them without coming across as a weirdo. It’s very easy to feel like one is being over-punctilious when trying to find out if the way things are being approached is the best. As parents of a disabled individual we often need to hear that we’re not screwing up massively, or that we are not as hysterical and silly was we sometimes think. This makes us come across as more hysterical and sillier than we would like.
We have resumed our walks to the mailbox. We have to strategize so we don’t run into canines that J might find intimidating, but J is also working very hard at not immediately freaking out when he sees a dog in the distance. Some days are better than others, but we can’t ask for more than that. Well, yes, we can ask for the opportunity to someday have a dog of our own, but we’re not pushing that either. (We just KNOW that J would get along with a kindly, sweet, soothing Golden Retriever named Mott the Hoople if given the chance…but that’s probably just our imagination.)
J had missed wearing his beaten up Panama hat, and he dons it with panache when we’re heading out the door for our walk. He’s not ready for shorts (I’ve bought new ones to accommodate his newer waistline…hopefully we don’t need to go up another size, but we’re ready if it happens,) or sandals, but he has worn his lighter shoes to go out these past few days. I am very glad of this as I’ve been stepped on with the snow boots more times than I care to admit over the course of our winter outings.
Our plans to move are reviewed and revised frequently. We want to make sure that our prospects are positive, and our expectations are not so high that we fall flat on our faces. The focus of our plans is, of course, what is best for J, so we continue to review and revise, and fine tune, and consult…with each other, with the bank, with the job boards, with the universe. We find, as we move along this process, that our requirements are more modest than we originally estimated. It is a rather nice feeling. Daunting still, but nice.
And now, off I go to use some time J allows me while he is on his elliptical (it’s still The Sound of Music) so that I can get some reading done…I think I’m good for thirty-odd pages and a cup of tea.