We emerge on the other side of the move…sort of unscathed…

In case I haven’t said this fervently, convincingly, emphatically enough before: NEVER MOVING AGAIN.  Ever.  Under any circumstances.  Regardless of how much money I’m offered.  We have the very firm intention (so firm it’s actually inflexible) of being like Mr. Fredericksen in Up.  Build around us…we’re not moving.

First: it would kill us.  We’re too old for this crap.  Seriously.  We are tired, sore, achy, fatigued, exhausted, exasperated, irritated…happy to have bought this house…madly in love with it…but NEVER MOVING AGAIN.

I would relate to you the saga that has been moving from Morgantown, WV to Raleigh, NC, but I feel you would think I’m hyperbolizing for dramatic effect.  Suffice it to say that we closed on the house on a Tuesday, and our belongings didn’t arrive until the following Monday.  This, sadly, after we’d been told they’d be here on the Saturday at the latest…and then on the Sunday…and, finally, on the Monday.  That our moving boxes were sitting in a warehouse in Pennsylvania since the second of August is beside the point (no, it’s not), or that they were apparently transferred (without much attempt at delicacy) from one truck to another is also beside the point (to quote Brick Heck from The Middle…”I’m lying”).  What is very much to the point is that our move salesman and our move coordinator had said (and they deny it with such vehemence that it’s breathtaking to think neither has ever been nominated for a major acting award) that our things would be here between the 9th and the 12th, and that it was likely that we would see them in the early portion of the delivery window.  Since this was a verbal estimate we can’t prove it was said (if an estimate is made in the forest, and there’s no one there but the person who needs their stuff delivered…was it estimated at all????).  So after calling us, basically, liars and having no reasonable explanation for why our move was not scheduled on the Friday after it was picked up (this didn’t get scheduled until the Friday AFTER it was picked up) we were pretty much ready to be done…

We are done.  We have unpacked everything.  We have disposed of the broken items (which, by the way, we would have had to KEEP until they sent an adjuster to verify that our claims -“we regret that you have broken items YOU associate with your move”- were legit), removed the boxes to the recycling center, and the fat lady is ready to sing her swan song by hanging pictures on walls, and calling this last (and most monumental) of moves DONE…officially and unequivocally.

Because we didn’t get our stuff when promised (did you know that you basically get a $100 discount for each day the move is late?  That’s it…$100!), we had to go out and buy air mattresses (our backs will never be the same), towels, sheets, some pots and pans (because we were -and this will sound totally crazy- SICK of eating out…never mind how costly it was), and other items that ensured our sanity in light of being in an empty house with good ol’ J.

J.  Darling, patient, adaptable J.  J who loves Target and yet was utterly sick of going there to get yet another thing we needed to “rough it” in the empty house.  J who met his new psych with a big smile on his face, and hasn’t asked for Five Guys yet.  J who has the two most comfortable, set-up in style, “this room is done” rooms in the entire house.  Bless his sweet heart, and his willingness to put up with all this madness.

Now that the garage has ceased to look like a cardboard jungle, J can go back to his exercise routine.  He has a new treadmill.  He is waiting for his Wii and his TV to be set up so he can “run”…he has seen more dragonflies in the garden than he’s comfortable with, but every day he tries a little harder to sit out there and experience the glory that is his new, fenced, landscaped backyard.  J has been a champ.  J has smiled a little more widely and a little more brightly with each passing day as the boxes start revealing his things emerging from their storage.  J has helped load the recyclables in the truck we rented, and giggled with joy as he sees the garage becoming a garage once more.

We put his new peel-and-stick tree in his new bathroom.  We put glow-in-the-dark stars on his bedroom walls, and his bevy of pin-up girls is present and in full force.  He has his lava lamp, his fairy lights, his butterflies, and a view of the garden that is pleasant and relaxing.  J is very much at home…

We sit around the dinner table and look out the window at the birds that visit the feeders; we go outside to feed the fish in the pond; we take the trash out to the curb, and J is in charge of checking the mail.  A short walk, but a happy one…just a few yards down the driveway and I can see him smiling all the way there and back.  He has also learned that he puts the flag up if we are sending mail out…

Our expeditions to learn about town have been fun.  We’ve found a grocery store we love, a shopping center where they have all the stores J likes to frequent, and a donut shop that is a huge treat because their donuts are simple and ridiculously delicious.

Tomorrow we will sally forth to the DMV to get our IDs, licenses, car registration.  On Saturday we hope to work in the yard.

We are settling in…

We are hanging pictures…

We are NEVER MOVING AGAIN…EVER…

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